No Training, No Equipment, No Worries !!

I never thought that I would cite Chris Moyles as an inspiration but by my reckoning if that Moyles can make it up the mountain then so can this one!!

Yes folks this is a piccie of me at the start of the Kilimanjaro climb!!


On the proceeding days before my birthday I decided that another solo celebration alone in a shabby hostel room was too much to bare so decided to try and experience it somewhere a bit more scenic.



I arrived in Moshi last Sunday and walked around every tour company in town trying to tag on to a tour leaving for Kili the next day, without any luck. Enter Africa's equivalent of Betty's Bargain Basement Tours, in less than an hour she had rustled up a crew and hired me the necessary equipment to do a solo ascent. So I did. On Monday morning I started walking and I am delighted to confirm that despite the leaky tent, ripped gloves, wafer thin sleeping mat and questionable food, on Saturday morning I actually made it to the top!!!!!




I may have not been the quickest person up to the summit but I was in much better shape than some of the poor buggers that didn't make it. In fact the worst medical complaint I can come up with is something I can only liken to Cabin Pressure, meaning that I was pretty much fart powered for the last couple of hours, that and the fact that my fingers swelled up so much it looked like I had five extra thick Walls sausages at the end of each hand (farts and fat fingers - now there's something Cheryl Cole failed to mention in the documentary!!) I did puke my guts up at the top but it is 5895m high so I think an empty stomach and a blinding headache are a small price to pay for making it up that high.



Now, I would in no way advocate my budget approach to the climb as my hastily acquired guide spoke little English and his conversation was very much limited to 'Go now', 'Stop Now', and my particular favourite 'This is where most people die'. The one day I tried to engage him in a longer conversation and asked him why the other teams on the mountain had medical kits and oxygen tanks with them he just barked "No medicine for mountain - just need power.' Every morning that was his mantra, 'You feel the power?', by Day 3 I was starting to feel like a cross between a Power Ranger and a Spice Girl!! That and the fact that the only other English speaking member of the crew was one of the porters who spent the whole time following me singing Enrique Iglesias 'I can be your hero baby'. Alas that was the only line he knew so he just repeated it over and over and over again!!



So, if you contemplate following in my (slow) footsteps, my advice would be this...
(a) Spend a long time choosing which tour company you go with and
(b) Spend even longer choosing which knickers to wear (its pretty tricky struggling up to the summit with fat sausage fingers stuffed down your freezing cold trousers trying to retrive deeply inappropriate pants that have taken up residence down by your equally chilly knees!!)

All this aside, I feel blooming fantastic to be the 2nd Moyles to make it all the way - Bring on Everest!!!


(Pic 1 - the start, Pic 2 - My Birthday accomodation, Pic 3 - the view from the top, Pic 4 - my certificate for making it down alive!!)